When to Walk Away: Recognising Toxic Relationships and Reclaiming Your Power
- Crystalline Views
- Jun 11
- 6 min read
You know the feeling.
That gut-level ache that something just isn’t right.
You’ve explained yourself calmly. Tried to meet them halfway. You’ve taken accountability for your triggers, stayed emotionally aware, and even empathised with their wounds. You’ve opened your heart and extended grace — again and again.
But still… it keeps happening.
The shutdowns. The blame. The emotional blowouts. The refusal to take accountability.
And somewhere deep inside, your soul is whispering: This isn’t what love is meant to feel like.
If you’ve been navigating a relationship that feels more painful than peaceful — where your needs, voice, and emotional reality are regularly dismissed — this blog is for you.
Because sometimes, the bravest thing you can do isn’t holding on...
It’s knowing when to let go.
It’s Not Always Obvious: What Toxic Relationships Can Actually Look Like
Not all toxic relationships are overtly abusive. In fact, many of the most damaging dynamics hide behind "almost" relationships, charming personas, or the promise of potential.
Here are some subtle signs that you may be caught in a toxic cycle:
You’re always the one apologising, even when you were the one hurt.
You feel like you’re “too sensitive” for expressing a valid emotion.
Every concern you raise gets flipped back on you.
When you express your needs, they withdraw or punish you emotionally.
You’re left crying, anxious, confused — while they walk away without remorse.
You notice a pattern: the moment things get too real or intimate, they find a way to self-sabotage or abandon the connection.
And worst of all? You begin to question your own reality.
Sound familiar? That’s not “normal tension” — it’s a repeated trauma loop.
goes much deeper into toxic signs to look out for.
You’re Not Going in Circles — You’re Rising Through Spirals
When patterns repeat — especially with the same person or energy type — it can feel like you’re back at square one.
But here’s the truth: you’re not failing. You’re being initiated.
Life has a way of circling us back to similar scenarios, not to punish us — but to help us integrate the lesson more deeply.
This is soul work. This is karmic completion.
And what may look like “another breakup,” “another let down,” or “another cycle”... is actually your soul screaming:
“You’re done with this. You’re not the same person anymore.”
You’re here to break the cycle, not repeat it.
What This Relationship is Trying to Teach You
In every toxic connection, there’s a mirror.
You’re not here to analyse their every wound or psychoanalyse their inability to communicate. That’s not your job.
Your role is to ask: “What has this brought up in me?”
Perhaps it’s shown you:
Where you still fear abandonment.
Where your value feels tied to being chosen.
Where you’ve been betraying your boundaries just to keep the peace.
Where you still hope they’ll change — just like last time.
This is sacred information. And it’s not here to break you.
It’s here to wake you up.
To remind you of who you are, what you’re worth, and what you’re no longer available for.
If you need guidance with seeing your connection as a mirror to deeper healing, download my Embracing Your Shadow: Wholeness & Balanced Relationships Therapy Workbook.
You’re Not Abandoning Them — You’re Choosing You
But here’s where many people feel stuck:
They wonder — Am I giving up too easily? Shouldn’t relationships be hard work sometimes? What if they’re genuinely trying? What if I’m abandoning them mid-healing?
This is one of the biggest blocks I see as a therapist.
Because often, it’s not black and white.
Your partner may not be a monster. In fact, they might even be in therapy, journaling, trying in their own way. But that doesn’t always mean they’re meeting you where you are.
And that’s the key.
The real question becomes:
Are they taking full accountability — not just saying sorry — but actively shifting the behaviour that caused the rupture?
Are they showing the capacity and willingness to meet you emotionally, energetically, spiritually?
If the answer is unclear — or consistently “not quite” — then you’re likely holding space for someone who hasn’t yet chosen to hold space for themselves.
That’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to see the truth.
Sometimes, it’s not that they’re a bad person.
It’s that they’re not in alignment with where you’re going.
And it’s okay to say: “I honour where you are. But I can’t keep dimming myself to match it.”
You deserve relationships that reflect the work you’ve done. Relationships that nourish the version of you who has grown.
Choosing to walk away from someone who is still learning how to love is not abandonment.
It’s discernment.
It’s recognising that their pace, their readiness, and their soul timing are different from yours — and that’s okay.
But so is choosing peace over potential.
Because love isn’t proven through sacrifice.
Love is proven through alignment.
The Spiritual Signs It’s Time to Walk Away
From a spiritual and psychological lens, here are some clear indicators that it’s time to release the connection:
You feel more anxious than peaceful after most interactions.
They consistently invalidate your emotional experience.
You’ve communicated your needs multiple times, and they’re still dismissed.
The relationship mirrors a past trauma or old karmic wound.
You’ve grown — but the dynamic hasn’t.
You sense your energy being drained, not nourished.
You’ve started to lose yourself — again.
Walking away doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means you finally love yourself more.
If you need to get clear on the exact relationship qualities that you are really seeking and deserving or, download my Discovering Your Ideal Relationship Therapy Workbook.
Walking Away with Power, Not Bitterness
This isn’t about storming out in rage or slamming the door shut!
This is about graceful endings — honouring what was, acknowledging the pain, and releasing the fantasy of what could’ve been.
You’re not walking away because you hate them.
You’re walking away because you’ve outgrown the version of yourself who tolerated that treatment.
This is your self-worth in motion. This is your sovereignty returning. This is your initiation into deeper love — starting with you.
Besides, you can still love them...from afar.
If you’re finding it hard to let go without spiralling into self-blame or doubt, the Align With Your True Self Workbook can guide you back to your core — where clarity and confidence live.
But What If They Come Back?
Maybe they will.
Maybe they’ll suddenly realise what they lost.
Maybe they’ll try again.
And it’s worth noting:
When you choose to walk away — with grace, clarity, and self-respect — it often initiates the other person into a deep healing process that only loss can trigger.
It’s in the void — not the comfort — that true transformation begins.
I say it to my clients often:
When you fully let go, one of two things happens —
Either they come back transformed,
or you create space for something new to arrive that’s far more aligned with who you’ve become.
Either way, you’ll be fine.
But if that person does return, ask yourself this:
Has anything truly changed?
Have they taken full responsibility for the harm caused?
Have they committed to doing the work — not just for you, but for themselves?
Because if not…It’s just another loop, dressed in new wrapping paper.
Don’t go back to who you’ve outgrown.
You didn’t do all this inner work just to prove your love to someone who can’t see your light.
You’ve grown.
You’ve risen.
Now let your standards rise with you.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Failing — You’re Finally Free
You’re not “too much” for wanting safety, tenderness, and emotional maturity.
You’re not “weak” for walking away from someone who isn’t meeting you there.
And you’re certainly not “back at square one” just because this familiar pain has resurfaced.
You’re closing the cycle — and this time, you’re doing it differently.
✨ With your head held high.
✨ With your heart intact.
✨ With your self-worth unwavering.
Because we’re not playing small anymore.
We’re not begging for breadcrumbs.
We’re not mistaking chaos for chemistry.
We’re done.
You are not here to endlessly fix and fight for love.
You are here to remember your wholeness — and receive love that mirrors it.
And that begins with a simple, powerful choice: I choose me.
Ready to reclaim your energy and align with the love you deserve?
🧭 Book a Holistic Therapeutic Reading to uncover your soul’s love blueprint, patterns, and next steps.
📓 Use the Discovering Your Ideal Relationship Workbook to identify the love you’re truly calling in.
💖 Dive into the Platinum Therapy Package for a deep healing container to release trauma and anchor into self-worth.
You’ve got this.
And if your soul needed a sign?
This is it.
With great love,
Leanne – Your Holistic Psychotherapist
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